In our fast-paced, high-pressure world, it’s no secret that stress and trauma can take a toll on our physical and mental health. If you’ve ever felt the weight of hidden stress, you’re not alone. Dr. Gabor Maté, in his groundbreaking book When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, dives deep into the mind-body connection, particularly how stress—often rooted in familial relationships—can manifest as physical and mental symptoms, even leading to disease.

One of the most powerful parts of Dr. Maté’s work is his exploration of what it takes to heal from these deep emotional wounds. In Chapter 19, he introduces the “7 As of Healing,” a set of principles designed to help us on the journey to living more authentically and healthily.

If you haven’t had a chance to read the book yet, I highly recommend it. There’s even an audiobook version if you prefer to listen on the go.

Let’s explore these seven key elements and see how they can help us heal and thrive:

1. Acceptance

What It Means: Acceptance is about embracing yourself fully—without judgment, without the need for perfection. It’s recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to your achievements or the approval of others.

Why It Matters: When we accept ourselves as we are, we shed the heavy burden of self-criticism. This opens the door to greater self-compassion, allowing us to build a kinder and healthier relationship with ourselves.

How to Practice: Start by engaging in self-compassion exercises. Try journaling positive affirmations, or practice mindfulness by observing your thoughts without judgment.

2. Awareness

What It Means: Awareness is tuning into your body and paying attention to the signals it sends—physical sensations, emotions, and intuitive nudges.

Why It Matters: Our bodies are constantly communicating with us, but too often we ignore these signals. By cultivating awareness, we better understand our needs and can take proactive steps to care for our mental and physical health.

How to Practice: Practice mindfulness or body scans, taking a few moments each day to check in with your body and notice how you feel.

3. Anger

What It Means: Anger is a natural, valid emotion that deserves to be acknowledged and felt safely. It’s crucial to process anger rather than suppress it.

Why It Matters: Repressed anger can lead to both physical and emotional health issues. Allowing yourself to feel and express anger in healthy ways can help release pent-up energy and provide clarity about your boundaries and needs.

How to Practice: Find safe outlets for anger, like journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or engaging in physical activities like exercise or hitting a punching bag.

4. Autonomy

What It Means: Autonomy is about setting boundaries and staying true to yourself. It’s the courage to express your needs, desires, and limits authentically.

Why It Matters: Healthy boundaries protect your well-being and help maintain a strong sense of self. They ensure you’re not overextending yourself or compromising your values to please others.

How to Practice: Practice saying no when necessary, clearly communicate your needs, and prioritize activities and relationships that respect your autonomy.

5. Attachment

What It Means: Attachment is about forming meaningful relationships where you can trust and be vulnerable with others. It’s about building deep connections and intimacy.

Why It Matters: Strong, supportive relationships provide emotional security and a sense of belonging. Sharing your vulnerabilities with trusted individuals fosters deeper connections and mutual support.

How to Practice: Nurture your relationships by spending quality time with loved ones, being open about your feelings, and actively listening to others.

6. Assertion

What It Means: Assertion is the ability to express yourself authentically and advocate for your rights and needs. It’s about communicating confidently and clearly.

Why It Matters: Being assertive empowers you to stand up for yourself without resorting to aggression. It helps you communicate effectively, fostering respect and understanding in your interactions.

How to Practice: Practice assertive communication techniques, like using “I” statements (e.g., “I feel… when… because…”) and maintaining a calm, confident demeanor.

7. Affirmation

What It Means: Affirmation involves connecting with your creativity and finding a sense of purpose and meaning in life.

Why It Matters: Engaging in creative activities and connecting with a higher purpose can significantly enhance your sense of fulfillment and well-being. It’s about feeling more alive and vibrant.

How to Practice: Explore creative outlets like art, writing, or music. Engage in activities that inspire you and align with your passions. Reflect on your values and what gives your life meaning—whether it’s spirituality, community involvement, or personal growth.

Embracing these 7 As of Healing can guide you toward a more balanced, fulfilling life. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this path. You’re doing better than you think, and each step you take toward healing is a powerful act of self-love.

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