Our brains are not elastic, they’re plastic—meaning they can be molded and reshaped. This is where the concept of neuroplasticity comes in. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to form and strengthen connections between neurons. Think of it like this: if two neurons communicate regularly, their bond strengthens, making it easier to trigger a specific response. But, if you stop letting them communicate, that connection weakens.

Why does this matter? Because many of the automatic reactions you have—like snapping at your kids or partner when you’re stressed—aren’t fixed parts of your personality. They’re learned behaviors, often conditioned by past experiences, stress responses, or even things you picked up from your caregivers.

Here’s the best part: it can be changed. Your brain can be rewired to respond, rather than react, even in stressful situations. And no, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you if you struggle with this. Responding is a skill—one that requires practice, just like learning to play the piano or run a marathon.

In this post, we’ll talk about three neuroscience-backed ways to create space between a stimulus (what triggers you) and your response, so you can respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically.

1. Grow in Somatic Awareness

The first step to rewiring your brain is growing in somatic awareness—in other words, learning to recognize the signals your body sends when you’re becoming dysregulated. Are you clenching your jaw? Is your heart racing? Are your shoulders tensing up?

These are all cues that your body is moving into a stress response. By paying attention to these physical signals, you can intervene before your brain goes into full-on reaction mode.

The key here is to notice these cues without judgment. Instead of thinking, “Ugh, here I go again,” approach it with curiosity: “What’s my body trying to tell me right now?” This awareness alone is a powerful step toward breaking the automatic reaction cycle.

2. The “No-Go” Method

Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford, teaches the “No-Go” method, which is a fantastic tool for creating space between a trigger and your reaction.

Here’s how it works:

• When you feel the urge to react—whether it’s reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, snapping at your partner, or getting frustrated with your kids—you pause and mentally say, “No-go.”
• That’s it. You catch yourself in the moment of wanting to react, and instead, you choose not to.

This might sound simple, but it’s incredibly effective. By choosing to say “no-go” to an automatic reaction, you’re doing a “bicep curl” for your brain. You’re training it to fire new neurons and create a new pathway. Each time you pause and say “no-go,” you’re strengthening your ability to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

Do this a few times an hour, and by the end of the day, you’ll have completed 25 brain “reps.” That’s real progress toward rewiring your neural connections.

3. Prepare an Alternative Response Ahead of Time

Let’s be honest: the time to prep for being triggered is not when you’re already triggered. When you’re in survival mode, your “learning brain” shuts down, and the automatic responses take over.

Instead, it helps to choose an alternative response before the moment comes. For example, if you know that bedtime tends to be a stressful trigger for you, how can you prepare for it? Maybe you take a walk while your partner handles the kids’ bath, or you decide to skip the bath altogether on nights when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

You can even flip the script—if your kids are wound up, instead of getting frustrated, you could join in on the silliness for a few minutes before winding things down. Preparation gives you the tools to break the cycle of reactivity and choose a different path.

Bonus Technique: The Physiological Sigh

When you’re feeling overloaded, and you sense yourself about to snap, a physiological sigh can be a game-changer. This simple breathing technique involves taking two short inhales followed by one long exhale.

This type of breath calms your nervous system and helps create that crucial pause between stimulus and response. Over time, your body will begin to associate the trigger with this calming breath rather than a knee-jerk reaction.

Remember, This is a Process

Rewiring your brain takes time, and it’s easy to get frustrated, especially if you’ve been practicing reactive behaviors for decades. Here’s your reminder: be gentle with yourself.

If you catch yourself reacting instead of responding, don’t beat yourself up. Ask yourself, “What happened there? What signals did I miss? How can I set myself up for success next time?” Approach the process with curiosity, not judgment.

Replenishing Your Energy Resources

The best way to prevent reactivity is to ensure that your physical and emotional resources are replenished each day. That means:

• Sleep: A well-rested brain is better equipped to manage stress.
• Nourishing your body: Good food fuels not just your body but your mind.
• Movement: Regular physical activity helps regulate your nervous system.
• Stillness & Play: Balance the stress of your day with moments of joy and relaxation.

When you take care of yourself, you’re more resilient and less likely to react impulsively. And when you do slip up, remember that repair is always possible. Come back to the basics and keep moving forward.

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Learning to respond instead of react is a journey, and it’s one that can transform your relationships, your work, and your overall sense of peace. Your brain is capable of change, and every time you practice these techniques, you’re one step closer to breaking free from those old patterns. Keep going—you’ve got this!

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