Motherhood

Am I Scarring My Kids if I Let Them See Me Cry (Or Get Angry)? 3 Important Things to Remember When Letting Our Kids Witness Our Emotions

I'm Michelle!

Master Life Coach, Wife & Mom, Certified Nervous System Fitness Expert, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Podcaster, Attorney, and Deep Believer in Curiosity and Self-Compassion

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One of my listeners recently asked a fantastic question: she’s noticed her son holding back emotions, even though she tries to create a safe space. She wondered if it’s because her son doesn’t witness her or her husband express uncomfortable emotions. This got me thinking about the importance of showing emotions to our kids.

So, let’s talk about it—should you let your kids see you cry? Absolutely, yes. And here’s why:

1. Kids Can Handle Tough Emotions, Just Not Alone

Our kids are much more resilient than we often give them credit for. They can handle seeing us sad or upset, but the key is that they shouldn’t have to handle it alone. When we model healthy emotional expression, we teach them that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated—and that those feelings don’t last forever. It’s a powerful lesson in emotional regulation.

When kids never see their parents express uncomfortable emotions, they may internalize the message that those emotions are “bad” or something to be avoided. Over time, they might feel confused or ashamed of their own big feelings because they’ve never seen how to process them in a healthy way.

2. Reassure Them They Are Safe

Whenever you’re feeling emotional around your kids, it’s important to remind them that they are safe. They might pick up on your feelings, and it’s natural for them to feel a little unsettled. By saying something like, “I’m feeling sad, but it’s not your job to fix it. I’m still here, and you’re safe,” you’re providing them with the reassurance they need.

This not only helps them feel secure, but it also lets them witness that emotions are a normal part of life and that feeling them doesn’t mean the world is falling apart.

3. It’s Not Their Job to Make Things Better

As parents, we often want to shield our children from tough emotions, but this can send the wrong message. Kids might take on the responsibility of trying to “fix” things or make their parents feel better, which isn’t their role. By allowing them to witness your emotions while reinforcing that it’s not their job to change anything, you’re teaching them boundaries. You’re showing them that it’s okay to be emotional, but that you have the tools to process it yourself.

The Takeaway: Emotional Health is Physical Health

If expressing your emotions feels difficult, or you’ve found that holding back has contributed to physical health issues like chronic pain, gut problems, or fatigue, know that there’s a path to healing. Somatic release work—my specialty—can be transformative. It’s not just about emotional health; your physical health depends on it.

Feeling ready to take the next step? Book a discovery call, and we can explore how somatic release work can help you reset your nervous system and create space for emotional freedom.


And hey, if you have questions about this topic—or anything else—click the “Ask Michelle” link in the show notes! You can record a quick question from your phone or computer, and I’ll answer it on a future episode. Let’s keep these important conversations going! clear about the things that I’m going to take up and the things that I’m going to let go.” – Jenna Worthen

Have a question you’d love Michelle to answer on the podcast? “Ask Michelle a Question.” Click this link, record your message, hit send, and I’ll answer it in a future episode!

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You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

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Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

cool as a cucumber, ENNEAGRAM 3, book hoarder, MATCHA LATTE LOVER, growth seeker, accountability partner, and your biggest cheerleader

I'm Michelle.
Your Master Coach.

You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

Learn more

Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

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Cheers to starting your day right!  Make yourself comfortable and get ready to dig in, learn, and most importantly, take action!

You got it, Mama!

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© Michelle Grosser  2023. All rights reserved.

MICHELLE GROSSER

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