Today, we’re diving into a powerful framework to help you return to a calm, regulated state—even when stress or overwhelm feels like it’s running the show. These are Deb Dana’s 4 Rs, a simple yet transformative approach rooted in Polyvagal Theory. If you’ve been feeling stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, the 4 Rs will help you understand what’s happening in your body, respond with compassion, and guide yourself back to balance.

If you haven’t yet, grab your Nervous System Reset Guide (link in the show notes) to support you as you start practicing this framework.

Deb Dana, a leading clinician and author, has pioneered ways to bring Polyvagal Theory—the science of how our nervous system responds to safety and stress—into our daily lives. She developed the 4 Rs as a practical tool to help you navigate moments of dysregulation and guide your body back to a state of calm and connection.

Here’s the thing: You can’t think your way out of a stress response. When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, logic and affirmations aren’t enough. That’s why this body-first approach works so well. With the 4 Rs, you’ll have a step-by-step process to recognize what’s happening, honor your body’s response, and return to regulation—no judgment, no pressure.

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The 4 Rs to Return to Regulation

1. Recognize

The first step to shifting out of dysregulation is awareness. Recognizing means tuning into your body’s cues and noticing when you’re out of balance. Are your shoulders tight? Is your heart racing? Do you feel restless, disconnected, or on edge? These are all signals that your nervous system is trying to tell you something.

Why It Matters:
You can’t address what you’re not aware of. Recognizing these subtle cues early helps you intervene before overwhelm fully takes hold.

Try This:
Pause a few times throughout the day and ask, “What am I feeling in my body right now?” Start with a simple body scan: notice your breath, tension, or any areas that feel off. Growing this awareness is where we begin in the Burnout Recovery Blueprint, with guided body scans and somatic cue diagrams to help you understand how your body communicates with you.

2. Respect

Once you’ve recognized what’s happening, the next step is to respect your nervous system’s response. This means honoring your body’s reaction without judgment. Your fight, flight, or freeze response isn’t a flaw—it’s your body doing its job to protect you.

Why It Matters:
When you approach your experience with respect and compassion, you reduce the emotional charge and reinforce a sense of safety. Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” you shift to “It’s okay that I feel this.”

Try This:
Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Place a hand over your heart and gently say, “It’s okay to feel this. My body is doing its best to keep me safe.” Simple gestures like this remind your nervous system that it’s safe to let go.

3. Regulate

Regulating is where you actively guide your nervous system back to calm using body-based tools. This could include breathwork, movement, grounding exercises, or sensory practices. These tools speak the language your body understands—helping you move out of stress and into safety.

Why It Matters:
Regulation works at the root level. It’s not about forcing yourself to feel better but about signaling to your body, “You’re safe now.” When you regulate, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms and restores your entire system.

Try This:
Start with something simple:

• 5-5-7 Breathing: Inhale for 5 counts, hold for 5, exhale for 7. Repeat for 2-3 minutes.
• Grounding: Place both feet on the floor, feel the contact, and take a deep breath as you notice your surroundings.
  For a deeper dive, BRB includes an entire library of somatic practices tailored for energy, anxiety, overwhelm, or sleep.

4. Re-Story

Re-storying is about shifting the narrative around your experience. It’s asking yourself: “What else could be true here?” or “How can I view this situation through a more compassionate lens?” When you reframe your experience, you change how your brain—and your nervous system—responds to it.

Why It Matters:
The stories you tell yourself shape your reality. Re-storying helps decrease emotional reactivity and rewire your brain to respond to stressors with more resilience and clarity.

Try This:
When you notice yourself spiraling into self-judgment or stress, pause and ask:

• “What’s another way to look at this?”
• “What’s a kinder narrative I can tell myself?”
  Inside BRB, we dive into powerful mindset practices that help you release unhelpful paradigms and adopt perspectives that serve you.

Putting the 4 Rs Into Practice

The beauty of the 4 Rs is that they work together to guide you through any moment of dysregulation. Start by focusing on the first two steps—Recognize and Respect—and build from there. The more you practice, the more natural these steps will feel.

Remember, regulation is a process. Be kind to yourself as you explore these tools, and celebrate the small wins along the way.

The 4 Rs offer a compassionate, body-based framework to guide you back to calm and balance. By learning to recognize, respect, regulate, and re-story, you’re not just surviving stress—you’re building a foundation for peace, clarity, and resilience.

So, which “R” will you practice today? Start small, trust the process, and know that your body has everything it needs to heal.

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