Let’s be real – raising kids is like embarking on a rollercoaster ride, isn’t it? We adore our little ones to bits, but they have this uncanny ability to push our buttons like nobody else can. They’re like these powerful mirrors reflecting back our own triggers and traumas, offering us a chance to heal – but let’s admit it, sometimes it’s tough going, and we can snap.

I’ve been there, and I know I’m not alone. That moment when you snap at your kids, and instantly your heart sinks – it’s one of those feelings we all wish we could avoid. But you know what? There’s light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m here to share some mom-to-mom wisdom with you.

So, remember those times when you’ve lost your cool with the kids? Yeah, me too. But today, I want to talk about something different – let’s focus on prevention rather than cure. How can we equip ourselves with tools and practices to minimize those moments of frustration and maintain our sanity?

Window of Tolerance

First up, let’s talk about something called the “window of tolerance.” It’s this concept in psychology that describes our capacity to deal with life’s stresses without going off the deep end. Think of it like a range – some days, we’re cruising through life like bosses, while other days, the smallest hiccup can send us into a tailspin.

Now, here’s the kicker – our window of tolerance isn’t set in stone; it’s constantly shifting. Life experiences, stressors, traumas – they all play a role in expanding or contracting it. And when our window shrinks, we’re more likely to lose our cool with the kiddos.

But fear not, my fellow moms, because there are things we can do to widen that window.

3 Simple Tools:

1. Notice Somatic Cues: Our bodies are always talking to us – are we listening? Pay attention to those physical signs that indicate you’re nearing your limit. Maybe it’s a tightening in your chest or a knot in your stomach. These are your body’s way of saying, “Hey, slow down!”
2. Create Space: Just like how decluttering your home makes it feel more spacious, creating mental and emotional space can expand your window of tolerance. Give yourself permission to let go of those metaphorical beach balls – the traumas, the stresses, the never-ending to-do lists. Find ways to release those pent-up emotions and make room for peace.
3. Build Resilience in Your Nervous System: Our nervous system is like our body’s command center, and a healthy one is resilient. Engage in practices like movement, breathwork, and self-care to keep your nervous system in top shape. When it’s regulated, you’ll find it easier to stay calm and collected, even when chaos reigns supreme.

So, if you’ve found yourself snapping at the kids more often than you’d like, know that you’re not alone, and there’s hope. It’s not about being a bad mom or not being cut out for this – it’s about understanding your own limits and learning how to expand them. With the right tools and practices, you can cultivate resilience, regulate your emotions, and show up as the amazing mom you were meant to be. You’ve got this!

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