Today, we’re diving into the world of change – why it often feels so daunting, why we resist it even when we know it’s for the better, and how regulating our nervous system can help us navigate through this resistance with more ease.

Understanding Change and Resistance

When we talk about change, we’re not just referring to monumental life events like moving, starting a new job, or having a baby. Change can be as simple as setting better boundaries with your boss, starting a workout routine, or meal planning to avoid the daily 5 p.m. dinner dilemma. It could be small shifts like drinking more water and less coffee, spending more time with your kids, or putting your keys in the same place every day to reduce morning chaos. Or it could be stopping habits altogether, like going to bed late or getting triggered by social media.

In our last episode, we discussed the first step: awareness of the need for change. The second step is setting an intention for how we want to change. But many of us get stuck here because resistance seeps in, preventing us from taking action.

Why We Experience Resistance

When you feel resistance, it’s often because your nervous system is dysregulated. This can show up in various ways, and understanding these manifestations can help you address them more effectively. Let’s explore how resistance might appear in your life:

1. Procrastination: You never feel like doing it. You’re always too tired, and excuses pile up. You push things off until tomorrow, next week, or next month. For instance, in my law practice, I once procrastinated on writing a difficult letter for months, only to complete it in 30 minutes once I finally sat down to do it.
2. Self-Sabotage: Sometimes, we undermine our efforts through self-sabotage, even if we know better.
3. Ego Stories: Our ego tells us stories that keep us stuck – that we’re not smart enough, that the change isn’t aligned, or that maybe we’re not the right person for the job.

Grace and Compassion

Grace and compassion are crucial when dealing with resistance. All humans experience resistance to change because the unknown signals danger to our bodies. This resistance is a normal part of growth. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart enough or that the change isn’t right for you. It just means it’s new and probably uncomfortable.

Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this resistance. You have tools to regulate your body and nervous system so that this doesn’t feel overwhelming. You can lean into change and embrace opportunities for growth. Your breakthrough often lies just beyond this resistance.

Regulating Your Nervous System

The key to overcoming resistance to change is regulating your nervous system. Identify how resistance affects your state of being. Does it make you anxious and irritable, or does it push you into a frozen, burned-out state? Maybe it’s somewhere in between, causing you to feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Graceful and lasting change is difficult when you’re stuck in a dysregulated state. To shift out of it, find what works best for you. This could be moving your body through exercise, dance, or shaking, or practicing breathwork, meditation, or stillness. Be aware of how dysregulation feels in your body and have a few go-to tools to help you shift into a regulated state.

If you struggle to gain awareness of your dysregulated state or don’t know how to shift out of it, I’ve got great news. I’m creating a course on identifying dysregulation and shifting out of it in minutes. It’s launching later this spring, but if you can’t wait, book an unstuck session with me. We’ll dive into what’s holding you back and find ways to move forward from a place of regulation and strength.

Remember, change is hard, but you’re doing better than you think. Embrace the journey with grace and compassion. Talk to you soon!

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