when you're feeling overwhelmed,
you tend to go into the:
ENDURING PATTERN
The safety strategy of the Enduring Pattern is to fly under the radar, hunker down, and avoid self expression.
When you're in the Enduring Pattern, you probably tend to hold all your feelings inside. As a child, you were likely discouraged from asserting yourself. Now as an adult, you may fear self-expression to the point of self-sabotage and actively avoiding success.
The results are in!
So what does this really mean?
The Enduring Pattern isn't a personality type like the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs. Rather, it describes the safety strategies you immediately go to when you start to feel overwhelmed. It doesn't describe who you are, but rather what is blocking who you are.
The inner journey takes time and effort, but once you know where you're going, it will be much easier. Without a map, you may have been running in circles for years. But with this map, you can finally find your way home.
Fortunately, there is a map to the Enduring Pattern that shows both how you got stuck in this pattern, and how you can break free and return to your true self.
- You tend to struggle in expressing yourself.
- You can be slow to take action.
- You have a hard time figuring out how you feel and putting it into words.
- You may not experience yourself as being strong or worthy.
- Life feels hard.
- You hate being rushed.
- You often feel like you're carrying an enormous burden.
- You fear being "messed with" by others.
- You prefer to fly under the radar.
- You often keep your opinions and ideas to yourself.
- You tend to resist authority.
- Rather than drawing attention, you may self-sabotage.
- You might look and feel heavy and stuck.
- You wish people would leave you alone.
- Deeply grounded strength
- Stable and steady
- Great stamina
- High awareness of personal space
- Able to accept others as they are
- Loyal
- Great at mediating disputes and maintaining diplomacy
At their best, enduring-patterned people are embodied, stable, and steady.
Examples:
- Charlie Brown in Peanuts
- Hagrid in the Harry Potter series
- Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh
- Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings
- George Costanza in Seinfeld
- Something happened that overwhelmed your nervous system.
- You used whatever skills you had at that age to solve your problem. Maybe you copied what you'd seen others do, or maybe you invented a new strategy. You try different things out.
- If the strategy works, you keep using it. If it doesn't work, you try something else.
- Over time, you settle into a strategy and as you use it repeatedly, it becomes conditioned into your body and develops into a survival pattern.
- As you grow, that pattern becomes the lens through which you experience life. It influences how you see yourself and the world.
Enduring Patterned people typically have a history where as a child, their unique acts and expressions were either punished or claimed by someone else.
As a certified Master Coach, I took a deep dive into personality patterns. They're pretty fascinating, right?! I really wanted to help other moms learn how to identify their patterns, recognize when they're acting in pattern, and heal their patterns so they can parent and live as their true and authentic selves.
Before understanding my pattern, I was often overwhelmed, and my inner critic kept piling on the mom guilt. I couldn't figure out why seemingly "little" things would send me over the edge and cause me to lose it. I didn't understand how my survival pattern was distorting my motherhood experience. I couldn't see that how I was viewing life and motherhood was filtered through the lens of my pattern.
Working with a coach and healing my own patterns changed my life! Learning how to get out of pattern and back to the present, gave me full access to all the help, resources, and maturity I'd worked to develop as an adult, and made me such a better mom and wife.
Hello there!
BEFORE WE GET TOO FAR INTO THIS...
Tell me more about 1:1 coaching!
The Enduring Pattern is distorting your perceptions and your experiences. What you're upset about may not be nearly as bad as it looks through the filter of your Enduring Pattern. And even if it is, you need to be able to see it clearly to find the best way to respond. Remember, following a distorted map will not take you where you want to go!
Whenever you realize you've gone into the Enduring Pattern, your first job is to get yourself out of the pattern and back to being present. When you get out of the Enduring Pattern and back to the present, you will once again have access to all the help, resources, and maturity that you have worked so hard to develop. Once you are back in the present, you will be able to find the best way to respond to any situation.
Healing the Enduring Pattern requires that you learn to develop autonomy and self-confidence. First and foremost, you must get your stuck energy moving. Daily exercise can be really healing for this pattern. Learning how to set healthy boundaries helps you practice defending your own space. People who tend to turn to the Enduring Pattern also need to learn to move proactively, rather than just reactively. Finally, anger work is especially important for those in the Enduring Pattern because they have never seen anger expressed in a clean, healthy, responsible way. So it's important they do their anger work with a coach who understands the value of clean, healthy anger.
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Ever wonder what it'd be like to work with a Life Coach?
it's finally time you invested in yourself
We all have blindspots in our lives. That's one of the reasons why working with a coach is so powerful. Awareness is the foundation to all change. You can't intervene in a world you can't see.
Join me in the journey of understanding why you do the things you do. Let's work together to recognize when you're operating in a survival pattern that's distorting your motherhood experience.
I can teach you how to get out of pattern and heal your core wounds so you can get back to the present - back to your true self - where you're able to parent and live with full access to all the help, resources, and maturity you've worked so hard to develop.
Tell me more about 1:1 coaching!
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