Have you ever found yourself in the midst of a sudden burst of anger, leaving you wondering, “Where did that come from?” Well, you’re not alone. In my own journey and through coaching countless incredible women, I’ve noticed we often fall into one of two camps when it comes to handling anger.
Maybe you resonate with the “mom rage” stories, feeling the fiery anger that can catch you off guard. Or perhaps, like me, you’ve always considered yourself pretty chill, only to discover that suppressed anger is beneath the surface. And it’s just waiting to come out.
If you’re nodding along, trust me, I see you.
Two Camps:
Now, let’s talk about the two camps. One may align with the familiar territory of mom rage, where fury bursts forth, leaving you feeling guilty and awful afterward. The other camp is more subtle. It’s a suppressed anger that may not manifest in obvious explosions but subtly influences you.
Even if you believe you’re the epitome of chill, the reality is, motherhood and daily interactions with others can trigger anger. It’s a normal part of being human. The challenge lies in acknowledging and dealing with it effectively. Because here’s the thing – if you don’t have mechanisms to release anger, you’re likely suppressing it, and it can show up in various unexpected ways.
You might experience annoyance, resentment toward your partner, frustration, a sense of unfairness, or even surprise yourself with a sassy comment. Been there, done that – that was my story. Despite appearing chill on the outside, I was holding in a reservoir of anger, especially during the early stages of motherhood.
Whether you resonate with the overt mom rage or the more covert suppressed anger, both are signals that we need better tools to navigate our perfectly normal and healthy anger.
Let’s explore five common signs that may indicate you’re suppressing anger and need tools to work through it:
5 Signs You Might Be Suppressing Anger:
1) Muscle Tension, Clenched Jaw, Headaches, Gut Issues: Did you know your body holds onto suppressed anger, causing physical symptoms? It could be muscle tension, headaches, and gut issues. If you find yourself with chronic tension, start getting curious about any emotional undercurrents causing it.
2) Self-Criticism: When we suppress anger, it can turn inward, leading to self-criticism, self-doubt, or low self-esteem. Societal expectations often discourage women from expressing anger openly, but it’s crucial to have healthy outlets.
3) Fatigue: Holding in anger is exhausting. If you’re feeling constantly tired and resonating with other signs, it might be time to explore how you’re dealing with your emotions.
4) Perfectionism: Surprisingly, perfectionism can be a coping mechanism for suppressed anger. If you find yourself striving for perfection as a means of control, it’s worth examining the underlying emotions.
5) Irritability: Irritability is like a simmering anger, and as moms, there’s plenty that can trigger it. If left unaddressed, suppressed anger can leak out as irritability, affecting your well-being.
Remember, acknowledging and addressing suppressed anger is a powerful step toward a healthier, more balanced life. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether you resonate with overt rage or subtle suppression, there are tools and practices to help you release and manage your anger in a healthy way.
If any of this resonates with you, consider reaching out for support. Book a discovery call, and let’s explore how I can assist you on your journey. You’re not alone, and there’s a community here ready to support you.
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