If your evening routine is spent scrolling mindlessly, mentally running through tomorrow’s to-do list, or reaching for a glass of wine to take the edge off—this one’s for you.

I used to end my nights feeling restless, overstimulated, and totally unable to unwind. That is, until I started following what I now call The 9PM Rule—a simple, science-backed routine that helps shift your nervous system out of stress mode and into deep, restorative calm.

And before you think I’m about to hit you with a radical life overhaul—don’t worry. These are small, intentional tweaks for a routine that tell your body, “We’re safe now.” Let’s dive in.

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Step 1: Put the Phone Down (Yes, Really.)

We’re kicking things off with the hardest step for most of us: putting your phone down by 7PM. I know—it’s tough. Your phone is your lifeline to work, friends, and that endless TikTok scroll. But here’s the deal: every notification, every ping, every scroll is a dopamine hit that keeps your nervous system in a hyperactive state.

Why It Works

Your body isn’t built to process the kind of constant stimulation that our phones provide. By cutting off this digital overload, you’re allowing your stress hormones—especially cortisol—to come down naturally. This gives your nervous system the chance to start winding down instead of staying stuck in a loop of low-grade panic.

The Opposite Effect

If you keep scrolling right up until bedtime, you’re essentially training your nervous system to stay in high alert. That endless feed of emails, texts, and social media keeps your brain engaged, making it harder to transition into deep sleep.

My Tip:

Create a ritual where at 7PM, your phone goes in another room or gets switched to “Do Not Disturb.” Give your nervous system a break from the constant stimulation—it will thank you.

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Step 2: Do One Tiny Task for Tomorrow

Next, do one small thing to set yourself up for tomorrow. This isn’t about overhauling your morning routine—it’s about making a tiny, intentional move that tells your brain, “I’ve got this.”

For me, it’s writing down my top three priorities on a Post-it note. For you, it could be laying out your coffee mug, choosing your outfit, or prepping breakfast.

Why It Works

This simple habit reduces nighttime anxiety by creating a sense of order. When your brain knows that tomorrow has some structure, it doesn’t have to stay on high alert, scanning for potential stressors.

The Opposite Effect

If you don’t have this small moment of preparation, your brain is left running worst-case scenarios about the day ahead. That looming mental to-do list keeps your nervous system in a state of low-grade stress, making it harder to relax.

My Tip:

Keep this step ridiculously small. It’s not about getting ahead on work—it’s about sending your nervous system a micro-signal of control and calm.

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Step 3: Close the Mental Tabs

If you’re someone who lies in bed rehashing awkward conversations, stressing over unfinished tasks, or replaying the day’s mistakes—this step is for you.

Before bed, I ask myself, “What’s one thing I need to let go of right now?” Sometimes I write it down, other times I just acknowledge it mentally. The key here is externalizing the thought so your nervous system doesn’t keep cycling through it.

Why It Works

Your brain treats unresolved thoughts like open loops. If you don’t actively close them, your nervous system keeps you in a low-level alert state, scanning for unfinished business. Writing them down or mentally acknowledging them signals to your system that it’s okay to release the tension.

The Opposite Effect

If you skip this step, you carry that unresolved stress into sleep. Your brain stays engaged with lingering worries, leading to restless nights and an overactive nervous system.

My Tip:

Spend one minute before bed identifying one thought to release. Write it down in a notebook, whisper it into the void—whatever helps you park it outside of your mind for the night.

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Step 4: End on a High Note

Finally, end your day by reflecting on something positive. This doesn’t mean forcing toxic positivity—it means intentionally shifting your emotional state before sleep.

For me, this looks like asking, “Where did I see God move today?” or “What’s one thing I’m grateful for?” If that’s not your style, it could be as simple as recalling a moment of kindness or something that made you smile.

Why It Works

Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice—it actively shifts your nervous system into a state of safety and relaxation. When you end the day focusing on what went right instead of what went wrong, you give your brain permission to let go of stress and settle into deep, restorative sleep.

The Opposite Effect

If you go to bed rehashing what didn’t get done, what went wrong, or what’s stressing you out, you’re telling your nervous system that danger is still present. This keeps cortisol levels high and makes it harder to reach the deep sleep stages your body needs.

My Tip:

Make it non-negotiable to note one thing you’re grateful for before bed. Even if it’s tiny—like “That first sip of coffee was amazing today”—your brain will start scanning for the good, and that shift is powerful.

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Bonus: Swap Your Nightcap for a Sleepytime Mocktail

If winding down usually means pouring a glass of wine to “relax”, consider this swap: a Sleepytime Mocktail. I love a simple blend of tart cherry juice with a dash of magnesium—both of which naturally support melatonin production and muscle relaxation.

Why It Works

Alcohol may feel like it helps you unwind, but it actually messes with your sleep cycle, increasing cortisol and disrupting deep sleep. A calming, non-alcoholic alternative can help nourish your nervous system instead of dysregulating it.

The Opposite Effect

That glass of wine might knock you out initially, but it’ll spike your cortisol levels later, leading to restless sleep and that dreaded 3AM wake-up. Over time, it can create a reliance on alcohol for relaxation rather than actually teaching your nervous system to unwind naturally.

My Tip:

Try tart cherry juice + magnesium or a herbal tea like chamomile. It’s a gentle way to support your body’s natural ability to wind down—without the sleep disruption.

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The 9PM Rule: Your New Evening Reset

So, there you have it—the 9PM Rule, broken down into four simple steps (plus a bonus mocktail):

✅ Put the phone down (your brain needs a break).
✅ Do one small task for tomorrow (lower anxiety, increase control).
✅ Close the mental tabs (let go of unfinished thoughts).
✅ End on a high note (shift your emotional state).
✨ Bonus: Swap the wine for a sleep-friendly drink.

Each step gently guides your nervous system from stress mode to rest mode, helping you sleep deeper and wake up more refreshed. And the best part? You don’t need to do them all at once. Just try one this week and see how your evenings—and your mornings—transform.

If you’re curious for more practical tools to regulate your nervous system, grab my Nervous System Reset Guide—linked in the show notes.

Here’s to peaceful, intentional evenings and deep, restorative sleep. You’ve got this. Goodnight, and sweet dreams! 😴✨
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