Motherhood

5 Signs You’re Parenting in Fight-or-Flight—and How to Shift Out of Survival Mode

I'm Michelle!

Master Life Coach, Wife & Mom, Certified Nervous System Fitness Expert, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Podcaster, Attorney, and Deep Believer in Curiosity and Self-Compassion

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You love your kids. You’re doing your best. But by the end of the day, you’re tense, drained, and running on fumes—and nothing even went “wrong.”

You’re not a bad mom.
You’re not just tired.
You’re likely parenting in survival mode.

And the truth is, most women don’t even realize they’re doing it. Because the signs can be sneaky. And when you’re living with chronic dysregulation, your nervous system adapts to it like it’s normal.

This isn’t about shame. It’s about clarity.
When you understand what’s happening in your body, you gain power. You build compassion. And you open up the possibility for something different.

Let’s talk about five signs you might be parenting from survival mode—and what to do to support your system in real time.


1. You Feel Constantly Overstimulated

When noise from your kids, mess, or even someone calling your name feels physically unbearable—that’s not “just being sensitive.” That’s your nervous system signaling danger.

You’re not imagining it. Sensory overload activates your fight-or-flight response. Your body stays tense. You feel reactive, even jumpy. And by 4pm? You feel like your skin is buzzing.

What it looks like:
You flinch at loud sounds. You snap over spilled snacks. You shut down when chaos builds. Your system doesn’t have the capacity for more.

What helps:
Step outside. Put your bare feet on the earth. Take 10 slow, intentional breaths. Let your exhale be audible. This tells your body: I’m safe. I’m here. I’m okay.

Over time, this builds capacity. Your system starts to interpret stimulation as neutral—not dangerous.


2. Everything Feels Urgent

You’re racing the clock. You feel behind before the day even begins. And no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.

That’s a classic sympathetic response. Your nervous system is stuck in “go mode.” You’re flooded with cortisol. And you’ve forgotten what it feels like to move slowly without guilt.

What it looks like:
You get snappy when your kids dawdle. You bark orders instead of connecting. You struggle to pause—because your body believes everything is an emergency.

What helps:
Breathe on a count of five. Inhale for 5… exhale for 5… repeat for one minute. This one-minute breath reset interrupts the urgency loop and helps your body drop into parasympathetic.

(And just because something feels urgent doesn’t mean it is.)


3. You Feel Guilty When You Take Care of Yourself

If rest feels selfish or unsafe (like you’re ignoring your kids), that’s not a mindset problem. It’s a nervous system imprint.

Most high-achieving women have internalized the belief that productivity equals worth. So when you stop, your body sends danger signals. You don’t just feel lazy—you feel unsafe.

What it looks like:
You can’t sit during naptime. You multitask through every moment. You feel anxious when someone else helps, even though you’re craving support.

What helps:
Take 5 minutes a day for something that produces nothing. Read. Lay down. Sip tea. Stretch. Let it feel uncomfortable—that’s how you know you’re interrupting the pattern.

You don’t need to “earn” rest. Regulated moms parent with more patience, presence, and peace.


4. You Feel Emotionally Disconnected

If you feel numb, disengaged, or like you’re just going through the motions—you’re not broken. You’re maxed out.

Emotional shutdown is a nervous system freeze response. Your body protects you by pulling the plug on connection because it doesn’t feel safe to engage.

What it looks like:
You zone out. You feel foggy. You know you “should” be enjoying the moment, but you can’t access the joy.

What helps:
Try butterfly tapping. Cross your arms over your chest and gently tap back and forth. This bilateral movement re-engages your system and integrates left-right brain processing. It gently coaxes your system back into presence.

(We practice these tools inside the Calm & Collected Workshop—because they work.)


5. You Dread Transitions

Transitions require energy. When you’re dysregulated and depleted, even the small shifts—home to school, work to dinner, bedtime to cleanup—feel like too much.

What it looks like:
You snap during the after-school shuffle. You feel edgy before bedtime even starts. You rush through moments without ever feeling present.

What helps:
Create grounding rituals around transitions. Light a candle before dinner. Turn on music in the car. Let your body associate certain cues with safety and rhythm. Predictability regulates.


Here’s What I Want You to Know

You’re not failing. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re parenting from a body that’s running on survival.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

You can rewire the patterns. You can build capacity. You can shift out of stress and into presence—without needing the day to be perfect, the kids to be calm, or the to-do list to be done.

That’s exactly what I teach inside the Calm & Collected Workshop. I’ll walk you through body-based tools that actually help you regulate your nervous system in real time—so you can show up as the mom you want to be.

You’re not stuck. You’re just dysregulated. And the good news? Regulation is a skill you can learn.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

>>> 💌 DOWNLOAD THE NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET GUIDE <<<

🥤 MY BURNOUT RECOVERY STORY + $10 OFF HAPPY JUICE

📝 APPLY NOW FOR 1:1 COACHING WITH ME!

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You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

Learn more

Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

cool as a cucumber, ENNEAGRAM 3, book hoarder, MATCHA LATTE LOVER, growth seeker, accountability partner, and your biggest cheerleader

I'm Michelle.
Your Master Coach.

You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

Learn more

Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

DOWLOAD NOW!

Cheers to starting your day right!  Make yourself comfortable and get ready to dig in, learn, and most importantly, take action!

You got it, Mama!

Game Changer

© Michelle Grosser  2023. All rights reserved.

MICHELLE GROSSER

NEUROHACKING MASTERY

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