Let’s talk about something big—something that’s happening in the background of your day, even when you don’t realize it.

Your nervous system was never designed to run on chronic stress. Yet so many high-achieving women find themselves stuck in a loop of survival mode—snapping at the people they love, chasing the next task with racing thoughts, or zoning out completely when everything feels too heavy.

If that’s you, this blog post is going to hit home. We’re unpacking how your nervous system gets stuck in different stress states (fight, flight, and freeze), what to watch for, and how to work with your body—not against it—to regulate and return to calm.

Nervous System 101: Why Survival Mode Isn’t Your Fault

Let’s start with the basics: your nervous system isn’t wired for hustle. It’s wired for safety. And that means when your system perceives a threat—whether it’s a looming deadline or a difficult conversation—it responds automatically.

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory gives us a map for these responses:

• Sympathetic (Fight or Flight) = gas pedal
• Dorsal Vagal (Freeze) = brake
• Ventral Vagal (Calm & Connected) = steering wheel

Back in the day, these responses helped us survive literal danger. But modern life throws us a different kind of stress—relentless notifications, emotional labor, unresolved trauma—and our systems can’t always tell the difference.

Over time, this builds up. It’s called allostatic load—the cumulative stress that wears down your capacity. When it gets too high, you get stuck in one of these survival states. Your flexibility disappears. Your body stays on high alert even when the threat is gone.

Let’s walk through what each stuck state looks like—and how to shift out of it.

Stuck in FIGHT: The Pressure Cooker

When your nervous system thinks you can confront the stressor, it kicks into fight mode.

How it sounds:

• “Why does no one else care as much as I do?”
• “I have to handle this right now.”
• “If I don’t stay in control, it’s all going to fall apart.”

How it feels:

• Tension in your jaw, fists, or shoulders
• Irritability and impatience
• Heart racing, digestion slowing down

Why it happens: Many high-capacity women were rewarded for being fiery and intense. You learned to keep it together by powering through. But over time, that constant fight mode can leave you depleted.

Somatic shifts to try:

• Push against a wall or pillow to release tension
• Try Lion’s Breath: open your mouth wide and exhale strongly
• Shake out your arms or legs to move stuck energy

Stuck in FLIGHT: The Constant Runner

When the threat feels too big to fight, your system turns to flight. That’s when you become obsessed with doing as a way to escape feeling.

How it sounds:

• “If I just keep going, I’ll stay ahead.”
• “I can rest later—after this next thing.”
• “What if I fall behind?”

How it feels:

• Restlessness or nervous energy
• Scrolling constantly, checking your phone for no reason
• Overbooking yourself or avoiding stillness

Why it happens: You may have learned that being busy made you valuable. That slowing down was dangerous. So you run—but the anxiety doesn’t stop.

Somatic shifts to try:

• Practice the physiological sigh (two inhales, one slow exhale)
• Try a walking meditation—slow your pace and listen to your steps
• Ground yourself in the present by naming what you see, hear, and feel

Stuck in FREEZE: The Shutdown

When neither fight nor flight feels available, your body hits the emergency brake and shuts down into freeze.

How it sounds:

• “I’m so tired. I can’t deal.”
• “I don’t know where to start.”
• “Everything feels too much.”

How it feels:

• Numb, foggy, disconnected
• Overwhelmed by small decisions
• Exhausted no matter how much you sleep

Why it happens: Freeze is the body’s way of playing dead—minimizing pain when escape isn’t possible. Many women stuck in freeze were taught to be compliant, to not take up space, to endure quietly.

Somatic shifts to try:

• Press your feet into the floor—feel your contact with the ground
• Use a weighted blanket or hold something cold to bring sensation back
• Hum gently to activate your vagus nerve and reconnect with your body

From Stuck to Regulated: You Can Shift

Here’s the most important thing: you are not broken. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. The problem is no one taught you how to return to safety once the danger passed.

That’s what regulation work is all about. It’s not about forcing calm—it’s about creating conditions where your body can remember it’s safe to soften.

Inside Burnout Recovery Blueprint, we help women just like you:

• Map their nervous system patterns
• Build daily, body-based regulation tools
• Rewire the chronic stress loop—not just cope with it

This work is gentle. But it’s also powerful. Because when you stop trying to out-think your stress and start listening to your body—you heal.

You weren’t meant to live in survival mode, and you weren’t designed to hustle through shutdown.

You were made to feel grounded. Connected. Fully alive.

And that starts when you stop overriding your body—and start partnering with it

Related Episodes to Explore:

• Previous Episode
• Are You Ready for a Soul Shift? How to Get Unstuck and Reclaim Your Joy
• Stuck in Bad Habits? Stop Spinning Your Wheels and Learn the 3 Requirements for Lasting Change
• 5 Subtle Signs You’re Stuck in Survival Mode
• The Reset Mindset: How to Get Unstuck and Focus on What Matters Most
• Talk Therapy Not Working? 3 Reasons You’re Still Stuck in Anxiety & Burnout

>>> 💌 DOWNLOAD THE NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET GUIDE <<<

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