For so many high-functioning women, living on the edge has become the norm. Fast-paced, overproductive, under-rested, and emotionally detached—yet still holding it all together. The nervous system adapts, survival mode becomes the baseline, and “calm down” no longer lands.
But here’s the truth: regulation isn’t just about understanding the science—it’s about feeling it in your body. If you’ve been anxious, shut down, or running nonstop, you may not even remember what regulation feels like anymore. This post will guide you back.
What Regulation Isn’t
Let’s start with what regulation is not.
- It doesn’t mean you’re calm all the time.
- It doesn’t mean you never react, stay perfectly composed, or hit some kind of emotional neutrality.
- It doesn’t mean perfection.
Regulation is about capacity. It’s your system’s ability to meet stress and then return to baseline. You can feel emotions without being hijacked. You can stay connected to yourself even when things get hard.
The essence of regulation is flexibility. When you’re regulated, you can ride the waves of life without spinning out. You respond instead of react. You’re grounded, present, and available—not rigid or frozen.
What Regulation Feels Like
So what does being regulated actually feel like? Let’s break it down.
Physical Regulation
- Breath moves freely, without force
- Shoulders and jaw soften naturally
- A grounded sense of weight in your body
- Stillness that isn’t numbness
Emotional Regulation
- Spaciousness—you can hold what’s happening without drowning in it
- Subtle joy and aliveness
- The ability to feel anger or sadness without losing control
- Choice instead of compulsion
Relational Regulation
- Staying connected in hard conversations
- Saying no without spiraling into guilt
- Holding boundaries without endless explanations
- Intimacy without self-abandonment
When your nervous system is regulated, you can exhale without explaining why. You can rest and actually feel rested. You can be with your body without flinching away.
Guided Somatic Practice: A Taste of Regulation
Regulation isn’t something you think your way into—it’s something you practice. Try this brief exercise to give your system a felt experience of ease.
- Settle In: Find a supported position—sitting back, lying down, or standing with feet grounded.
- Notice Your Body: Scan from feet to jaw. Where are you holding tension? Name it without fixing it.
- Breathe: Inhale gently through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth, letting shoulders drop and belly soften.
- Move Softly: Roll shoulders, sway, or stretch without performing. Invite your body: You can soften now.
- Orient to the Present: Open your gaze, notice what you see and hear. Let your system land here, now.
Even subtle shifts matter. Sometimes the body doesn’t realize how tight it’s been until it feels permission to release.
Why This Practice Matters
This is the beginning of regulation—not forced calm or faked composure, but giving your nervous system a new, safe experience again and again until ease becomes familiar.
The more often you practice, the more capacity you build. Over time, your system learns that it doesn’t have to live on edge forever.
Closing Thoughts
You deserve to feel at ease in your body.
You deserve rest that actually lands.
You deserve to come home to yourself—not just for a moment, but for good.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Related Episodes to Explore:
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- Burnout Recovery Blueprint (Part 2): Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
- Unlocking Calm Powerful Somatic Practices to Shift out of Fight, Flight or Freeze
- Stop Intellectualizing Everything! Knowledge Doesn’t Lead to Change – Here’s What Does
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