Mindset

4 Ways You’re Coping with Stress That Are Actually Making You Less Resilient

I'm Michelle!

Master Life Coach, Wife & Mom, Certified Nervous System Fitness Expert, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Podcaster, Attorney, and Deep Believer in Curiosity and Self-Compassion

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Having a podcast on or listening to a playlist all the time just keeps my mind busy.

I’m not overscheduled; we just like to keep busy.

A strict routine is what keeps everyone from being stressed!

Let’s be real: we all have ways to deal with pressure—some healthy, some… less so. But when these tactics become rigid, they stop building real resilience to stress and instead keep you trapped in fight-or-flight mode.


Why Coping Strategies Matter & How They Evolve

Coping strategies are anything you do to reduce or manage stress or anxiety—whether you do it consciously or not. Think back to a really demanding time in your life: maybe when you had a newborn or a huge work project. You likely developed habits that helped you feel safe and regulated. And guess what? Those habits served a purpose back then.

However, if we don’t adapt or re-evaluate these strategies over time, they can turn into crutches rather than tools for growth. True resilience means handling stress effectively and bouncing back without getting stuck in constant survival mode. Let’s explore four common strategies I see in high-achieving women—and discover how they can become a double-edged sword.


Strategy #1: The Jam-Packed Schedule

Why We Do It

A full calendar feels incredibly productive. Keeping busy can ward off anxiety because if there’s no downtime, there’s no room to dwell on worries. It also gives you a sense of control: “I’m needed, I’m valuable, I’m accomplishing all the things.”

In short bursts, being busy distracts your mind from negative thoughts and provides structure—especially if you tend to procrastinate.

When your schedule is always jam-packed, you leave zero space for rest, reflection, or emotional processing. This trains your nervous system to stay in a constant “on” state, like your foot is always on the gas. Over time, that leads to burnout and anxiety.

What You Can Do

  • Schedule White Space: Deliberately plan 15–30 minutes of “nothing” between major tasks or appointments. If the idea of free time makes you uncomfortable, that’s a sign you need it!

Strategy #2: Rigid Routines

Why We Do It

Routines provide predictability and reduce decision fatigue, which can create a sense of safety when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

A strict schedule—whether it’s your wake-up time, meal plan, or workout routine—can anchor you during chaotic times, keep you in control, and ensure important tasks don’t slip through the cracks.

When routines become too rigid, they leave no room for adaptation. If your morning workout or ritual gets interrupted, you might spiral into anxiety or even a meltdown. Instead of being a tool, your routine becomes a crutch that stunts your ability to adjust when life throws curveballs.

What You Can Do

  • Build in Flex Days: If you normally do a 6 a.m. workout every day, try sleeping in or switching to a gentle stretching session once or twice a week.
  • Try “Micro Flex”: If you meticulously plan every meal, leave one meal unplanned each week and embrace a little improvisation.

Strategy #3: Always Having TV/Podcasts in the Background

Why We Do It

Background noise can be comforting. Whether silence makes you uneasy or you simply enjoy the company of chatter, having the TV or a podcast on can distract you from anxious thoughts.

It offers a sense of companionship, can distract from anxiety, and sometimes even entertains or educates you.

Constant noise means your nervous system never really gets a chance to settle. By always processing extra stimuli, you miss out on tuning into your body’s natural signals, and your stress can remain unaddressed.

What You Can Do

  • Designate “No-Noise” Zones: Try eating one meal a day without any background entertainment, or set aside 10 minutes of silence in the morning or before bed. Embrace the quiet—it might feel awkward at first, but it can significantly reduce mental overload.

Strategy #4: High-Intensity Exercise as Your Go-To

Why We Do It

High-intensity workouts, like HIIT classes or long runs, feel amazing. They boost your mood with endorphins and offer a welcome break from overthinking.

They help discharge pent-up energy and keep you physically fit—when done in moderation, they’re a great tool for stress relief.

Relying solely on high-intensity exercise can reinforce a stress loop. Intense workouts elevate cortisol, especially when you’re already stressed, and over time, this can lead to overtraining, insomnia, or hormonal imbalances that actually undermine your resilience.

What You Can Do

  • Cycle Your Workouts: Alternate high-intensity sessions with lower-intensity activities like yoga, Pilates, or a gentle walk.
  • Check Your Motivation: Ask yourself if you’re exercising to genuinely improve your mood or simply to escape stress. If you end up feeling more drained than energized, it might be time to dial it back.

What Now?

These four coping strategies—an overloaded schedule, rigid routines, constant background noise, and high-intensity exercise—can easily turn from helpful tools into crutches if you rely on them too heavily. They all have their place, but if you’re feeling stuck, anxious, or burned out, it might be time to re-examine how much you lean on these habits.

Action Step

Pick one strategy that resonates with you. Maybe start by scheduling a short break in your day, designating an hour of quiet in the morning, or swapping one high-intensity workout for a relaxing walk once a week. Notice how your body responds to this small change. It might be challenging at first, but over time, you’ll help your nervous system learn that a little uncertainty isn’t life-threatening—it’s part of growing stronger and more resilient.

A Little Extra Help

For more guidance on building a truly resilient nervous system, download my Nervous System Reset Guide (link in the show notes). It’s packed with bite-sized exercises that you can easily integrate into your daily life—so you don’t have to rely on old coping mechanisms that are quietly draining you.

Thank you for tuning in today. If this post resonated with you, share it with a friend or post about it on Instagram—I love hearing your feedback and insights. Remember, true resilience isn’t about having the perfect routine or schedule; it’s about being flexible and knowing that your body can handle whatever life throws at you. You’ve got this, mama!

📝 APPLY NOW FOR 1:1 COACHING WITH ME!

💌 DOWNLOAD THE NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET GUIDE

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You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

Learn more

Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

cool as a cucumber, ENNEAGRAM 3, book hoarder, MATCHA LATTE LOVER, growth seeker, accountability partner, and your biggest cheerleader

I'm Michelle.
Your Master Coach.

You my friend, are called to a life of fullness and abundance - no matter how wild this motherhood journey is. It's time to trade the exhaustion and overwhelm for peace and joy.  No more hot-mess express.  I've got you. 

Learn more

Let's redefine what's possible in motherhood.

DOWLOAD NOW!

Cheers to starting your day right!  Make yourself comfortable and get ready to dig in, learn, and most importantly, take action!

You got it, Mama!

Game Changer

© Michelle Grosser  2023. All rights reserved.

MICHELLE GROSSER

NEUROHACKING MASTERY

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