YYou’ve read the books. You’ve tried the tools. Gratitude, journaling, meditation—maybe even the occasional 4am wake-up to “get ahead.”

But despite all of that? You still feel reactive. The tension sets in by mid-morning. You yell when you swore you’d stay calm. You crash into bed wired and overstimulated.

If this is you, here’s the truth you need to hear:

You’re not broken. This isn’t a willpower problem. And what you’re dealing with is not simply stress.

It’s nervous system dysregulation—and it changes how you perceive and respond to the world around you.

Let’s unpack why that matters, and what actually helps.

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Stress Isn’t the Enemy—Dysregulation Is

Stress is a spike. A momentary jolt in response to a demand—an email, a toddler tantrum, a full inbox. Your body reacts, then recovers.

Dysregulation is what happens when your body doesn’t recover.

Your heart rate stays elevated. Muscles stay braced. Adrenaline keeps pumping long after the moment has passed. Even when life seems fine on the surface, your body doesn’t feel safe.

This is why a missed text can feel like an emergency. Why the dishwasher not getting emptied leads to a meltdown. Your body isn’t responding to logic—it’s responding to threat.

To others, it might look like an overreaction. But inside? It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do: keep you alive.

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The Biology of “On Edge”

Let’s zoom in.

When your nervous system gets stuck in sympathetic overdrive—fight or flight—it prepares for danger, whether that danger is a real emergency or just your Slack notifications blowing up.

Your breath becomes shallow. Muscles tighten. You hyperfocus on what could go wrong.

This is where neuroception comes in. It’s your body’s subconscious system for detecting safety or danger, based on cues like tone of voice, posture, and past experience.

And here’s the kicker: neuroception doesn’t care what your mind knows.

You might tell yourself it’s “just a meeting” or “just a toddler tantrum.” But if your nervous system reads the moment as unsafe, you’ll still react. This mismatch between logic and felt experience is what so many women mislabel as an overreaction.

But your body’s not overreacting. It’s responding to what it’s perceiving. And that perception comes from survival patterns, not conscious choice.

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Why Thinking Isn’t Enough

You’ve probably tried to “stay calm.” Maybe you’ve journaled about your triggers. Tried to reframe your thoughts. Practiced gratitude.

But in high-stress states, the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that handles reason and impulse control—goes offline. This is backed by neuroimaging studies: high cortisol levels suppress executive functioning.

So when you try to think your way through what your body perceives as danger, your brain simply isn’t available.

No wonder those “simple tools” haven’t stuck. You’re not weak. The solution just doesn’t match the root of the problem.

You’re not failing. You’re using the wrong language—and your nervous system doesn’t speak logic. It speaks sensation.

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What Actually Works

Safety is the key. Not more self-talk. Not more hustle. Not more rules.

Your nervous system needs bottom-up input—signals from the body that say, “It’s okay to relax now.”

Let me show you a few practical ways to send that message:

• Slow exhales help downregulate arousal by activating the vagus nerve.
• Weighted pressure on your chest (with a pillow or blanket) calms hypervigilance.
• Rocking or swaying mimics the rhythmic motion that soothes babies—and adult nervous systems too.
• Humming or chanting activates the vagus nerve via vibration and sound.
• Cold water on your cheeks or neck engages the dive reflex, slowing heart rate.
• Feeling your feet on the floor reconnects you to the present moment.

These tools don’t require 90 minutes of silence or a perfect environment. Just a few seconds of safety can begin to reset your entire state.

And when your nervous system feels safe? That “overreaction” softens into a more grounded response. You’re not suppressing. You’re regulating.

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The RETURN Framework

Inside my signature program, Burnout Recovery Blueprint, I teach a step-by-step framework called RETURN that helps high-achieving women move from survival to sustainability.

Each phase helps reverse the biological momentum of dysregulation:

• R – Release survival stress
• E – Establish supportive rhythms
• T – Track and refine coping patterns
• U – Understand and regulate emotions
• R – Reinforce boundaries
• N – Nurture a new way of being

We don’t start with productivity hacks. We start by helping your body stop interpreting life as a threat.

And the first step? Learning how to recognize when an overreaction is actually a brilliant survival response in disguise—and meeting that part of you with regulation, not shame.

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Join the Workshop: From On Edge to At Ease

If you’re tired of white-knuckling your way through another week, I want to invite you to something different.

On Tuesday, August 26, I’m leading a free live workshop called From On Edge to At Ease. You’ll learn the exact tools I use with clients to help them regulate in real time—without needing a retreat or a full reset.

It’s totally free, and it’s going to be powerful.

Save your seat at michellegrosser.com/workshop

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Final Thoughts

You’re not broken. You’re not dramatic. You’re not just “too sensitive.”

What looks like an overreaction from the outside is often a nervous system doing its job under threat.

The good news? That story doesn’t have to keep running your life.

You can shift your biology. You can soften your responses. And you can build a way of living that doesn’t require you to shut down, lash out, or armor up.

All it takes is learning how to speak your body’s language.

Let’s do that together.

Related Episodes to Explore:

• Previous Episode
• Find Freedom from Anxiety
• 7 Ways to Release Stress and Anxiety From Your Body
• Are These 3 Mistakes Making Your High-Functioning Anxiety Worse? (And What to Do Instead)
• Feeling Overwhelmed with Work-Life Balance? 3 Mindset Shifts for Working Moms
• “5 Somatic Techniques to Regulate When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed “

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