Bottom Line Up Front
If joy has felt muted lately, it’s not because you’re ungrateful or “bad at happiness.”
Chronic stress and elevated cortisol can quietly block your nervous system’s ability to receive joy, even when life is objectively good.
Here’s how to begin reopening space for joy in a way that actually works.

This time of year can feel strangely disorienting.

On paper, things are good.

The year is wrapping up.

There’s gratitude, meaningful moments, people you love.

And yet… you might notice a heaviness you can’t quite explain.

You’re showing up.

You’re doing what needs to be done.

But joy feels distant. Blunted. Hard to access.

In today’s episode of Alive & Well, I’m talking about something I see constantly in high-capacity women—especially around the holidays—chronically elevated cortisol and how it quietly steals your ability to feel joy.

• Not because you’re negative.
• Not because you’re ungrateful.
• Not because you’re doing mindset “wrong.”

But because your nervous system has been living in survival mode for too long.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

You might not be saying, “I think my cortisol is dysregulated.”

But you might be saying things like:

• “Good things happen, but I don’t really enjoy them like I used to.”
• “I plan something fun… and then dread it.”
• “I love my people, but I’m irritated more than I want to be.”
• “I can’t remember the last time I laughed – like the deep belly laugh.”
• “Everything feels like one more thing to get through.”

These are signs of a nervous system that’s been carrying too much for too long.

When cortisol stays elevated, your system prioritizes scanning and bracing over softness and receptivity. Joy doesn’t disappear—it just stops feeling safe.

If you’ve tried gratitude lists, journaling, reframing, or “choosing joy” and it hasn’t really shifted anything, that’s not a failure.

It usually means your body needs support first.

Somatic, nervous-system-based work helps because it:

• discharges stored stress
• engages your vagus nerve
• widens your window of tolerance
• signals safety to the brain
• restores access to pleasure, connection, and presence

Joy doesn’t need to be manufactured.
It needs room.

As we move into the final days of this year, here’s what I hope you take with you:

• If joy feels far away, it doesn’t mean it’s gone.
• It means your body has been protecting you.
• Your work now isn’t to push harder.

It’s to support your nervous system enough that joy doesn’t feel like a risk anymore.

You’re allowed to feel good in your life.

Not just proud of what you’re doing—but present for it.

I’m so glad you’re here.

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